“Lets Win in 2010!”
End the “Pursuit of Unhappiness Cycle”
Happy New Year to you and your family! New Years, always an interesting time of the year. At this “end” we think of the beginning, and at the “beginning” we think of the end. An interesting cycle of debate and utilization of time. We recall our past, the decisions we have made, marinate over the mistakes we have made, the journey we are on, and the dreams we strive for. We think of who we are as a person, and the things we like, as well as dislike about ourselves. We ponder our purpose, look around the room we are in before the clock strikes midnight to start the New Year. If you’re in a crowded room, you realize you’re blessed, or cursed, by the company you keep. If you are alone, you may have gone to bed early, or you and your pet gaze at each other as you sit in chaotically loud silence, perhaps even speaking out loud to your fish, dog, cat, or other animal friend to mention in a pensively low voice, “Well, it’s a new year, and here we are…”.
Yes, here you are! Alone at home, to being with millions at Times Square , the ball drops; then what?! This signifies a new start, a chance to cleanse, refresh, and become a “Living Resolution”! Sure you committed haphazardly to an undisciplined diet, to losing weight, to spending time with your mother, sister, or other family members. Sure you are going to commit to changes you will not adhere to, make mistakes, and regret your regrets even more. Sure you said you would become a more appreciative, respectful, less of a cynical pessimist, volunteer (coincidentally, if you are looking for a place to volunteer, connect with www.heartprints.org to help improve the lives of youth, families, and our communities – yes, shameless promotion), go to church, stop smoking, drinking, and living in regret with the past on your shoulders. Sure you do not need the day of January 1st to arise for the only day of your life each year to implement change. Sure…
I am not sure of the statistics of the most popular resolutions, but I can give a great guess of them being items related to where pills are sold for quick fixes, addictions are present, and issues reside. Around those we can guess that the popular resolutions are to get healthy, lose weight, stop smoking, drinking, being angry, become more positive, be patient, find a new job, and in some way become a better person.
New Years is great due to the fact that such thoughts are inspired by the day. It is great to think of your blessings, how you may provide better gifts to others, more relationship and family driven, and become a better person. All too often these promises become forgotten empty words without any resolution, and they confront you to your face the next year.
I inspire you to eliminate the vicious pattern of repetitive empty promises to yourself and others. I urge you to utilize your preciously short time on this planet to energetically provide disciplined action plans around your resolutions. Stop making excuses, and shift change versus shift blame. You have the ability to realistically look at yourself, dig deep, forgive but not forget the past, and utilize your experiences to move forward with relentlessly passionate fervor to better places.
Embrace the gifts you have received, and the blessings you have. Perhaps you forget that you are in good health, yet abuse your mind and body in some form. Perhaps you are not in good health, and pondering why you are going through an illness, cancer, or someone undeserving is going through a difficult time. Perhaps you are mundanely trudging through the cycle of wake, work, sleep… wake work sleep, and caught up in a system you don’t feel a part of, and have an appetite for more. Perhaps you are successful but don’t feel significant, and strive for more of a cause related purpose in your life. Be blessed by allowing yourself to be blessed. Realize the gifts you have, and stop dwelling on your lack of accomplishments, and notice the wonderful things you have done with your life, for others. They may not be on television, patented, made lots of money, but there are free things you can do, have done, and don’t take stock of it and give it the credit it deserves. Respect yourself, and be responsible for the good, the bad, and the ugly. Do this with humble grace, and be of truth to yourself and others. It really saves a lot of time as well!
Whatever your challenge, thoughts, and dreams, now is the time to be presently aware, and make the intentionally conscious decisions to achieve your goals, be more present and invest in what really matters such as living a significantly successful life with your family, friends, and being of value and service not only to yourself, but to others. To be more healthy mentally, physically, and spiritually working out not only with focus in a gym for your body, but educating your mind with new perspectives and diverse opportunities, and also building your spirit not only through church, but spiritual experiences to develop your soul, purpose, and fulfillment.
Maybe you got laid off, lose your home, got divorced, can’t afford to pay your bills, or are on a roller coaster full of mental gymnastics that allow you to feel totally lost. Get back on the right path. Find your path, and reach out to others to ask questions, seek answers, and respectfully build a better you. You must be persistently patient, and by that I mean continue to do the right things, the right way, with the right people, and you will start seeing the results you desire. The outcomes you want may not reveal themselves immediately, but that is why I share with you to be persistently “patient”. If you look at those labeled “successful” in life by way of revenue, achievements, business, or other realms of life, you will notice that they carry with them a charismatic smile that displays an aura of confident awareness others just don’t have. You can have that by enacting disciplined actions plans around being optimistically opportunistic, yet realistic with the words and inspiration of the New Year’s “new starts” versus nebulous nuisances of empty resolutions.
You have dreams, why haven’t you started steps to achieve them? Have you written down your “closing the gaps” strategies to enact an action plan, timeline, and ways to get to your goals? Are you open to adapting to change with agility if you encounter speed bumps, or a fallen tree on the path? Are you so set in your ways, and that change just isn’t in your DNA? We all have faults, baggage, and regrets. If you don’t have faults, baggage, or regrets, you are either miraculously blessed, or have not been living life. You can dwell on your regrets and disappointments, or move forward with a refreshingly renewed awareness of knowing that you are “imperfectly perfect” as we all are as human beings, but have the ability and gift of choice to change your stars. The Sun, Stars, and Planets may not align tomorrow to allow you to shine, but you can certainly pursue your dreams with proactive action instead of reacting to all you have endured for so long.
Give yourself permission to breath, and empower yourself by forgiving who you are, and who you are not. Apologize one time for what you have not done, and for what you have done, forgive with God in your heart and not having to completely understand every situation, thought, or feeling you have, or others have about you. Stop keeping points, hurting others, injuring relationships with selfish intent, and be of service to your friends, family, and therefore self. You will see rewards you never imagined if you release yourself from downtrodden thoughts, patterns of pain, and all that you have carried around and didn’t know you stuffed away in your back pocket. Stop being so critical of others, and down on yourself. You are who you are, and can become who you always wanted to be. You cannot do this without a plan of action, or action around your plan. Believe in miracles, have hope and faith, but please do not assume that just because you make a resolution you will magically achieve those goals. This is exactly what separates significantly successful people from the masses who pensively walk through live reacting to what they endure on a daily basis. Stop believing all you are fed, told, and assumed to be. Be what you strive to become. Make your New Year’s Resolution to resolve empty resolutions!
I too am victimized by my own words, and need to enact a plan myself to avoid the pitfalls of empty resolutions as well. I am imperfectly perfect, just like you. I share these words to inspire you and others to become more fulfilled in their relationships, and also stop basing themselves in hopes of building into a new person. Be truly present instead of merely showing up. Be of value, purpose, and service. Call a friend you have not spoken to because you kept points and they didn’t call you half the times you called them. Go visit your mother and clean her kitchen, do her dishes, or perform an act of service to be kind. If you have a friend who is sick, take them chicken noodle soup, a movie, and serve them. Send someone a handwritten letter with a card. Listen, truly listen to a friend in your life, your sister, a co worker, or someone other than yourself to hear what they are saying beyond “How are you, how is your day, and how’s the weather”, then provide friendship, a card, letter, or just notice that they may need something you can connect them with. Turn off the television, Soap Operas, ESPN, Reality Shows, Blackberries, email, phone, Social Media, and other distractions, and be in present reality. You don’t always have to have an answer, solution, or innovative insight to be a friend. Volunteer at a shelter, school, hospital, food pantry, dog kennel, church, or volunteer at your friend or family member’s house to just be there for them. Caring is cool! Unselfishly give your time, but not excessively to the point of being detrimental to your time. This is not selfish, it is selfless with caring concern for your own sanity. Balance your life by balancing your time, relationships, and listening to what your restless soul’s instincts have being yelling at you to pursue! Stop living in fear, being totally cautious, or aligning with the wind to make your decisions. Give yourself permission to move on from the past, be truly present, and take actions towards your goals. Eliminate the sabotage of your life, time, self, and relationships by investing in your family, friends, goals, and realistic dreams with your truthful talents that are a gift.
I know first hand, just as you do, that it is painful to suffer, the past is not easy to manage, and achieving your goals can feel out of reach. The economy is bad, stocks and 401Ks lost a lot of money, your friends, family, and significant others and you may be going through challenges that feel like it would be better to run away from, and hope is not an easy institution to grasp on. Close your eyes, think of where you are from, where you are, and where you want to go. Then, ask yourself, have you forgiven your past, and also who you are not? Then, dissect your goals and ask yourself if your goals are totally self driven, to achieve something for materialistic, selfish, empty goals of notoriety, business, and money? If they are, you will be in an empty cycle of relentless pursuit of unhappiness. Change your goals to align with what your spirit is saying to you. If you want to be of value and service to others, that doesn’t necessary mean you have to work for a non-profit, but perhaps work for a company, create a product, or build a service that can even be for profit that is of service to others. By realizing where you are in the present, and your goals for the future, you can easily notate if your desires align with your goals. If not, this can certainly display one reason why you are so dissatisfied, tired, and exhausted with life.
You can be told to count your blessings, but when you are not motivated so even count, what’s the point right? Count on yourself, and invest in building credible change with you! Be accountable for your actions and goals. Take responsibility for your skills, talents, and abilities, as well as how you utilize them during the day. Wake up earlier to go to the gym. Work harder during the day, or skip lunch so you are not at the office until 7PM so you can eat dinner with your family, and tuck in your kids while reading a book with them before they go to bed. Make memories, start traditions, and stop waiting on others to make you happy, improving your opportunities, or to “fix” you! Just stop waiting, procrastinating, and being a ball of accumulated “hate that you hate”.
A lot of what I have said entails “stopping” something. Maybe you have started something, and need to “keep on keeping on”! If you’re in the right place, but just happen to be swimming in mud, keep fighting on, recruit assistance, reach out for help, and persist on! Find what motivates you, and continue to discover ways to be productive. As Churchill said, “Never, never, never, never give up!”. Simple, yet one of the most challenging parts of life in general. Many are in the right place, and just may be talking to the wrong people. Continue on, and passionately move forward in spite of criticisms that are not necessarily flattering.
Most of us need praise, recognition, and acknowledgement, and at times we may not receive it. Partly it is due to us not giving out praise, and the other part is due to others not being aware you need it. Times like those, you must lift yourself up, and alternatively launch your feet forward. Movement begets movement, inspires acceleration, and therefore action in this example.
1.) "An object in motion will stay in motion and an object at rest will stay at rest unless acted upon by an external force" or "A body persists in a state of uniform motion or of rest unless acted upon by an external force."
As in physics, an object in motion stays in motion, until faced with an object. Then it changes direction, speed, and energy. Work is defined as force over distance (W = Fd). If you continue moving forward over a distance, you may encounter criticism, obstacles, or external forces (inertia or static) that can inhibit progress. Utilize these obstacles to learn, collaborate, or change direction! I didn’t realize I would bring out High School Physics class today, memories, ha. You will have external forces acting upon you, or even internal forces of your own. To earn more results of work, you must enact more force over greater distances!
2.) "Force equals mass times acceleration" or "F = ma."
Stay with me on this lovely metaphor, friction can arise from these types of scenarios. “How you react to friction (obstacles) defines your identity”. If you react by quitting, no more motion, or even backwards, you did not exert enough respectful force to surpass your obstacles. Perhaps you needed a push, more energy, or effort! Your force (results) are equal to mass X’s acceleration (F = ma), or Results = (Actions)(Movement or Effort). Make it happen! Let the “force” be with you (apologies, not a die hard Star Wars fan, but couldn’t resist!).
Again, utilizing the “Work” formula, you can exert greater force over greater distances, but make sure you aren’t in rocking chairs or on treadmills facing brick walls, as you will do a lot of “Work” for empty results!
3.) "To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction."
Implementing action, work, or force into your life determines the results you see as reward or punishment. Having discipline, utilizing the right plan for the right reasons, and doing so with integrity will yield you the outcomes you seek. Another words, “You get out of life what you put in!”. We have all heard this saying, but all too often allow it to not sink in. Doing the right work for the right reasons will result in equal reaction (not opposite as in physics) of joyful, gracious, and abundantly fulfilling payments.
If you notice people who work hard, invest their time properly, and are kind to others, they have homes that are solid, families that are healthy, and if you go through the rooms of their house they are clean, organized, smell good, and have a good aura. If you are acting without integrity, scattered with your goals, and do not care about others or your actions, and if I went through your living quarters, I am sure it may be dirty, clothes everywhere, unkempt, disheveled, and without good aura, a result of what you have put into your life. Of course, not everyone is like this. Many can put on a good front, have a clean house, but be internally distraught, dissatisfied, and lost. My example is a metaphor, not truth for everyone, but you see my point.
I am not Oprah, Dr. Phil, a motivational speaker, CEO of a Fortune 500 company, famous athlete, New York Times Best Seller, or guru. I am not perfect. I am not someone who feels they have all the answers. I am someone that wants you to be a better you, and live a fulfilling life before your short time on this planet is over, and seeking to inspire you to utilize this new start on New Years Day, and “Win in 2010!”. Make this your time to reflect, move forward, do what really matters, inspire others, improve lives, and achieve all your dreams!
Sincerely,
Brian Siegel
“We’re as great as we help others become!”
